Gypsy Boy by Mikey Walsh

I have hesitated to write about this book for a very long time… Talking about a child relentlessly abused is the hardest thing to do.       

Mikey Wash is a Gypsy boy, living in a closeted community. He barely knows world outside the caravan camp and people other than Gypsies. Since he can remember he has been beaten by his father every single day. He has been beaten because he could not fight like other Gypsy boys, he wet the bed or…he dared to live. When Mikey’s mother tries to defend him, she is beaten too. Father is not the only one that abuses Mikey, pedophile uncle makes child's life even more miserable. 

When Mikey realizes that he is gay he does not want to be a part of the community and keep secrets anymore. The only way is to escape…

I suppose that every racist and bigot would use The Gypsy Boy to support their arguments against Gypsies communities. Indeed, the book is pandering all the stereotypes regarding Gypsies: child and women abuse, lack of education, earning money in illegal way etc. In other words, the book focuses only on negative aspects of life in Gypsy community. Moreover, while Gypsies know very well what it means to be discriminated and rejected, they are racists themselves against Georgians and Irish Travelers. Nobody can deny that racism and discrimination against Gypsies do not exist and that they are not regarded as social outcasts. However, it is also true that Gypsies live as they please and do nothing to improve their conditions and make their children’s lives better.

Mikey’s story is heartbreaking and devastating. You attach to the boy very quickly, he makes you part of his small but terrifying world through honest and detailed description of what he went through. Cruelty of his father could not break him tough. He always was good, lovely and funny child.  I was reading Gypsy Boy in the mornings on the way to work. Then, during a day I was unable to not focus on my job! I was thinking only about Mikey and what he was going through. I could not get rid of the picture of his father beating him every single day! Some people might ask why he did not escape earlier, why he stayed for so long. When you are a part of closed community, escaping is very hard. If you know only that small group of people, you do not know outside world, and you do not have place to go, your choices are very limited. And, his father made him believe he was nothing!

One might argue that Mikey’s father was violent because he was Gypsy and all Gypsies are the same. I would say that somebody is violent because he chooses to be this way. He beats his child or wife not because he is Gypsy but simply because he is evil. Even in so- called best families abuse and bullying happen. Somebody can be well- educated, having good job, but still can be violent toward others.

I am surprised that author did not try to make people understand Gypsy community better. He focused on violence issue only. I would like to read more about Gypsy history and the way they live. Author gave some insight into customs and traditions though. In my opinion, it is not enough.

Nevertheless, I think that it is important read because this is one of the few book about Gypsies. It is hard to find other books written from insider’s perspective. Moreover, even in academia you cannot find enough research on Gypsy community. As though nobody thinks Gypsies are worth to write about them…

Desert Royal

All three books in Princess Sequel are shocking, thought provoking and fascinating. However, Desert Royal is the weakest one. The proverb the appetite grows with what it feeds on describes so well my experience with Jean Sasson’s work. I expected Desert Royal to be at least as good as Princess and Daughters of Arabia, but what the author offered was disappointing melting pot of various stories…Jean Sasson did not satisfy my booklover’s appetite this time.       

Despite my feelings about the quality of the third book, I deeply appreciate the author for revealing cases of appalling brutality against women in Saudi Arabia. She broke salience on unbelievable suffering that still so many women experience in their lives. In Desert Royal, through Jean Sasson, Sultana tells about another case of forced marriage. This time, her heartless brother Ali, married his own daughter to…Hadi!!!!! Yes, yes, the same obnoxious Hadi, who raped eight-year-old girl in Egypt in first book of the sequel.  Although he was trained to become mutawwa, according to Sultana he “had absorbed none of the goodness called for in Holy Koran”. Young and shy Munira, who decided to become a social worker and assist the handicapped, was forced by Ali to marry an evil man, a hater of the female gender. There are no words to describe how I feel about men like Ali, who do not deserve to be considered human being.

I also truly appreciate that Jean Sasson raised the subject of intermarriages between non- Muslim women and Saudi men and situation of kidnapped children. Another important issue discussed in this book was using women and children as sex slaves.

The author had interesting ideas for Princess and Daughters of Arabia. The first described childhood and the beginning of Sultana’s adult life, and the later focused on her three children. Desert Royal lacks any focus. It is a melting pot of various stories, as though the author did not have any specific idea for third book. I would even say that Jean Sasson forced herself to write it. Frankly speaking, I expected third book to be about Sultana’s actual “fight for woman’s rights”. In fact, only at the end of the third book we read about creating “Sultana’s circle” for the reason that her own nephew brought sex slave from Pakistan and brutally raped her during family trip.

The most pathetic thing about Sultana is that she actually wasted whole her life on complaining, crying and buying expensive clothes. It was not Sultana but her son Abdullah who took the matters into his own hands and started to support poor families in Pakistan. Sultana would not be herself if she did not put herself in the centre of the universe: “my legacy of assisting women will shine through my son.” What kind of legacy she was talking about? I am waiting somebody to explain me what was Sultana’s legacy of fighting for women’s rights.

There was one scene that engraved in my memory… Sultana travelled with her husband and her sisters to New York, where she “could take pleasure in the freedom for women that she saw all around her”, and where Saudi religious police would not appear with their sticks to strike any woman wearing in “immoral” way. So they took off their vails, dressed up and then they were walking through Manhattan. I immediately reminded scenes from Sex and the City, in which Carrie Bradshaw and her friends were getting-together on the streets of New York.  In Sultana case, it was Sex and the City a la Arabia.

Although Desert Royal disappointed me deeply, I still think that Princess Sequel is very much worth reading. Especially now when whole world has watched historic elections in Saudi Arabia with great curiosity.

Daughters of Arabia

Here we are again in the world of Princess Sultana. In Daughters of Arabia Sultana shifted the focus from brutal treatment of women to the lives of her children: Abdullah, Maha and Amani. Through their lives we understand how the atrocities on women determine choices and preferences of girls in Saudi Arabia.                                                                                                         

Although Maha was loved by her parents, she experienced discrimination in the world outside the wall. In consequence of restrictions on women and lack of freedom of speech, Maha suffered mental breakdown. She could not accept the inferior position of women and brutality of men. Sultana and Kareem decided that Maha should undergo treatment at mental institution in London, where other Saudi women used to seek help. Apparently there were more women who were unable to bear their lives in Saudi Arabia. Eventually, Maha revealed to her doctor that “men were her enemies, and that women were her friends”. In other words, Maha and her best friend, Aisha, were lovers. The question Maha asked Sultana illustrates what was bothering that young girl: “how can I ever love a man, knowing all that I know of their nature?”

Amani had been perfect child till she started to expose fanatical behaviours. Sultana and Kareem were terrified with Amani’s fanatism but in fact they did nothing to stop it. Their daughter continued to meet with her religious friends and discuss overthrowing the King. Amani’s preferences show that she went from one extreme to another. She loved animals very much so her parents organized small zoo in their garden to make her happy. Then during Haj to Makkah, religious atmosphere changed her perception of faith and she embraced extremist convictions.

The son of Sultana, Abdullah, was nothing like most of Saudi boys. He believed in freedom and equality of women. Moreover, he helped his friend to escape with beloved girlfriend. He claimed that he ‘administered justice’ by helping two people who wanted to spend life together.

Sultana’s husband, Kareem, became even more progressive and open- minded than he had been before. He loved his two daughters as much as he loved his son, which is not common among Saudi men. He was also very understanding and patient with Sultana, but when she crossed the line he told her that in some day she would be ‘committed to an institution for the insane’.

I would like to focus more on Sultana, who again proved to be spoiled princess that saw only hub of her nose. She never took responsibility for her actions, arguing that men were to blame for her problems. To be honest, after getting through Daughters of Arabia there was nothing that I liked about Sultana. How somebody could feel sympathy for her? She only cared about expensive jewels and she had no consideration for people around her. Her laughing like insane when two men died in Makkah, and treating her cousin with mace to protect her necklace illustrate what kind of person Sultana was. When daughter of Kareem’s business partner escaped with ‘penniless’ Palestinian refugee, traumatised Sultana asked Kareem: ‘How did this happen?’ Moreover, Sultana got terrified by thought that Amani would sell her jewels and donate all money for the need. Sultana claimed that they were generous enough and she did not see what else she could do. She felt ‘depressed and unappreciated’ and was wondering about Amani: ‘…was her true desire to turn our family into beggars, like those who had benefited from our great wealth?’ Apparently according to Sultana, her life would take a turn for worse because of loss of a few millions. Regardless my feelings about Sultana, I feel compassion for women she described.

Another problem with Sultana was that she continued to talk about herself as an advocate for women’s rights, as somebody who was actively working to change women’s existence. Sultana claimed to fight against atrocities on women: ‘I had struggle diligently against from the moment of understanding’. Neither Princess nor Daughters of Arabia provide evidences of Sultana’s struggle.

Blindness of Sultana on the royal family and the King’s rule was simply ridiculous in this book. Sultana claimed that Saudi King did not have options to advance and change his country, that the King could not do anything without consent of Saudi clerics. She praised men of royal family because they provided substantial lifestyle to ordinary Saudi citizens. Sultana also claimed that:  ‘Many people, Muslims and Christians alike, despise Saudi for their unearned wealth’. In my humble opinion, there is nothing to be jealous of… At some moment, I simply could not stand her unbelievable ignorance.

I noticed a few inconsistencies in this book. First, Sultana said that Kareem was unable to commit violence. However, in Princess she described how Kareem hit her in her face while she was fighting with his mother. Second, when the family found out about her book, Kareem was outraged that Sultana revealed the story of his ‘weekly adventure of sex with strangers’ and venereal disease. In the version of Princess that I have there was not thread like that. Third, while Abdullah was the eldest child, at the end of the book Sultana said that Maha was the eldest one.

 In overall, I must acknowledge that Daughters of Arabia is fascinating book and reading it was a great pleasure. While Princess made me cry and deprived of sleep, Daughters of Arabia made me laugh. The story is written in highly readable and enjoyable manner. For non-native speaker like me, the book is very approachable.

Princess

Nothing makes me happier than buying books for low prices. There are only a few places where you can purchase cheap books in Dubai. One of my favourite places is House of Prose, a second-hand bookstore, where I bought Princess…a book that you can see in every bookstore around the city.

Through Jean Sasson, Sultana, a member of Saudi Arabian royal family, tells about shocking life behind the vail. She speaks about her own life and experiences of other Saudi women… stories of women glittering with jewels, living in luxury palaces with tens of servants. However, unbelievable wealth is just a cover for lack of freedom and total submission to men.  Women are prisoners of their fathers and brothers, and then of their husbands. Women do not have a right to express their opinions, to work, or to leave the country without ‘master’s permission.

 Without a doubt, the book is heart- wrenching and those who are very sensitive will find it difficult to process. Description of appalling oppression against women deprives of sleep and makes you wonder how is it possible that there are still places where men are heartless monsters.   Reading about forced marriages, sex slavery, honour killings and other barbarities against women made me appreciate the place that I was born and raised. Unfortunately, there are millions of women out there who are totally at the mercy of the men in their life. For instance, what happened to Sultana’s sister, Sara, is so heart-breaking that you want to scream and shout! Sara was a beautiful and exceptionally bright girl. She dreamt about studying art in Italy and opening art gallery in Jeddah. However, Sara’s dreams never came true because her father, ‘the decision- maker in all matters’, chose rich sixty- two years old prick to marry her. Five weeks after wedding, Sara attempted suicide which was the only escape from her husband’s sexual brutality.

Sultana tells also about her friends, who were severely punished for their actions. Nadia and Wafa decided to ‘taste any aspect of life’ until the day they would be married to old men. Their ‘adventures’ with foreign men had dramatic consequences. Wafa was married to an old Bedouin mutawa, while Nadia was drowned by her father in family’s swimming pool. You will become speechless after reading the chapter on Sameera who was confined to The Woman’ Room- room of darkness.

While many girls in Sultana’s world were sold to old men and suffered physical and psychological violence, she married a man of similar age and was allowed to meet him before the wedding. Indeed, Sultana was the lucky one; she and her husband fell in love with each other and had three kids together. They led a happy life, until Kareem decided to take a second wife. Sultana escaped with her kids and millions of dollars to Europe. Until the end, I thought she would start a new life faraway from Saudi Arabia’s suppression and injustice… but she came back with Kareem who promised not to take second wife. With her own will she came back to the cage… For the first time she could control her life, give her children freedom and dignity, but the only thing she really wanted was to make sure her husband would not take a second wife (!!!). Was she really so naïve to believe that Kareem would be loyal to her because of signed documents? Did she forget about her father and Ali’s trips, for example, to Thailand? Apparently, she could not accept more wives but she would be fine with one night stands of her husband.

Sultana’s struggle for fatherly love was heart-breaking. Suffering due to lack of her father’s attention and love is visible through the whole book. While Ali, the only son, was valuable for her merciless father, ten daughters were simply ignored and treated like a burden. As Sultana put it, she spent her childhood trying to win her father’s affection. The following words illustrate it well: ‘I calculated that if my father looked at me enough time he would recognize my special traits and come to love his daughter, even as he loved Ali. As it turned out, my rowdy ways ensured that he would go from indifference to open dislike’.

There is one basic problem with Sultana, in my opinion. The synopsis says that Sultana was ‘a woman of indomitable spirit and great courage’. Indeed, she always had a courage to get what she wanted. The only person she cared about was herself. From the very beginning of the book Sultana was telling about discrimination, lack of freedom and few possibilities of change for Saudi woman. The question arises, what did wealthy and courageous Sultana do to change other women’s existence? Her palace was full of Filipino maids and Sudanese slaves, who worked seven days a week to make Sultana happy. One of her necklaces would change lives of many Filipina maids. Apparently, Saudi women are worth more than other women.

Nevertheless, I like that author included humours stories in this book too. Without a doubt, Sultana’s endless war with her brother Ali will make you smile.

What I liked the most was very approachable writing style. You need one evening to go through this book.

Many people claim that this is not a true story. I think it does not matter because the book shows the stories that in fact are well known. Sultana does not need to be a real person because the book illustrates perceptions of many Saudi women.

I strongly recommend this book to everyone who is interested in life in Saudi Arabia and violations of human rights. Princess will move you to tears and you will never forget dramatic experiences of Saudi woman.